Q & A

Q: Where have I been and why have I not blogged a bit for 2 weeks (or so?)?

A: Working my fanny off and also... AcKeRpAlOoZa

Q: What, pray tell, is Ackerpalooza?

A: It's when the Ackerkids (Dr Peter, Nurse J., and meself) bend time and space to get together for adventures.

Verily, having time off and cash money enough to do stuff is a magical combination.

Q: Will I be recapping the adventures?

A: Absofrigginlutely! Let Ackerpalooza recap part one begin...

You know the party don't start till J walks in! The weather looked a little something like this: on day 1, so after getting settled in we went to Alice in Wonderland. Tim Burton is probably my favorite man in Hollywood, but Mr Depp seems to be slipping.

Day two was still rainy, so it was spent at Spa Castle where absolutely no pictures were taken. Absolutely none! Not one! Because taking pics at the spa is seriously not cool.

Day three was gorgeous, so we pulled out our compasses and other very serious hiking gear, and went exploring... in Central Park.

(By very serious hiking gear, I mean dresses with belts and cardis)

When the lease is up...

Dear Peter, Radar, and Beauvra,

We're moving here, and playing with hula hoops and hay. (But we're not wearing tomatoes as jewelry, cause they'd probably stain).

LOL as if I'd ever have a say about where we live.

I think if I could only watch one music video ever again for the rest of my life it'd be this one.

Whichever One Applies/ Tourist Edition

Dear Tourists

I understand that you (are 21 years old/ have way too much money for your age/ don't know how to order a drink) but that does not exempt you from behaving like a decent human being. I realize that you (have never been to New York City before/ are big stuff where you're from/ didn't know there's vodka in a cosmo) but can you please pretend to be an adult. I don't know who gave you (their credit card/ such an inflated ego/ permission to be such a brat) so let's try to reign it in a little while out in public. Also, you should probably know that in Manhattan there are several subway stops that require you to use a (mile long/ incredibly slow/ probably Victorian era) escalator. On these escalators standing traffic keeps to the right, while people (walk/ jog/ run like their life depends on them making the next train) down the left. Didn't you think it odd that you and your little group were the only ones (not standing on the right/ blocking the entire path/ yelling the lyrics to a Keisha song)? Thank you for letting me by after I said, "Excuse me, may I pass". That was kind of you. Just so you know, I DID (catch your dirty looks/ hear you say "Ugh, What is her problem? B***h! Congratulations, you're like 30 seconds ahead now. Whatever!" / pick up on the fact that you all seemed to be wearing an entire bottle of Victoria's Secret Body Spray... each.). I truly appreciate the fact that you conceded to move to the right like everybody else NOT WALKING, but probably not as much as the Asian men behind me, who nearly knocked me down the aforementioned mile long escalator as they literally sprinted down the left side. I like to think they were (trying to get to a hospital/ carrying the antidote/ spies). I've lived and worked in NYC long enough to know that late at night, the trains don't run very frequently. I also usually know when they're coming, so if you see me hustling, it's for a reason. Your rudeness annoys me, but happily vengeance is (swift/ mine/ best served cold on a dirty subway platform) because I was seated comfortably in the train, as you all came within view of the train and immediately fell all over each other trying to get down the last stairs and across the platform before the doors shut. Enjoy (waiting 30-45 minutes for the next train/ watching rats playing on the tracks/ the smell of what I call perma-vomit) because you're going to be there a while. Making eye contact with you when the realization that you were 30 seconds too late, for the train that I was on, hit your faces was priceless. Enjoy the rest of your trip to NYC, but next time, don't forget to pack (some dignity/ manners/ less fake looking hair extensions).

Thanks

-la sha

May the farce be with you

LONG AGO

(about a week)

IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY

(Manhattan)

There was a young Jedi

who fell in love with an empress. Fearing the Jedi Council would not approve the starcrossed duo left Naboo to live underground on Mars

(Mars 2112 off Times Square to be exact)

Life was good on Mars- everyone danced in the underground tunnels to the space music.

But then he embraced the dark side ... and killed her.

Oh well.

****Post Edit**** Aren't these just the best costumes ever? Yes. Yes they are. And do you know what makes them even more impressive? The fact that I made them meself. How do I always manage to forget that I can sew really well. Like, disturbingly well considering the fact that I never have any idea what I'm doing.

And now for something completely different!

Here's a man playing a cello in exchange for a burrito. Viva New York City!

Lady, you are never dull.

BIG NEWS! (well, big for me, anyway)

Did you know I love Etsy Labs?

If you don't it's because you haven't talked to me in the past year or haven't read this blog post.

Well, BIG NEWS- I'LL BE TEACHING AT ETSY LABS JUNE 1ST!

I'll be teaching my technique for making silk flowers by hand, using fire as the shaping mechanism.

IT. WILL. BE. AWESOME.

So, let's recap: Etsy Labs, 4-8 pm, June 1st. It's completely free and all materials are supplied.

If you're not in New York City, we'll be broadcasting live on the web here.

(Yes, you have to make a username to log in, but it's free and only takes a second, so don't be lazy.)

If you're not crafty, it's o.k.- my etsy shop is coming up roses!

100 POSTS!!!! High time for a giveaway!

comments have been closed.

Can you believe it? 100 posts!

I know it might not seem like much of an accomplishment, but for equilibrium's sake I think we ought to celebrate the small stuff (since we sweat it, anyway).

If I weren't so opposed to superfluous cleaning I might throw confetti in the air or something.

Maybe a little happy dance would be more appropriate.

Can anyone see me? No? Good- let the jig commence!

I want you to be happy too, so in order to encourage the sentiment I'm giving away this little bound book I just made.

Peter mentioned needing a blank book, so I made one for him.

This is kind of a mini version.

It measures 4.5X5 inches and contains 30 pages. And, yes, that IS part of a New York City map.

If you want to win it, simply leave me a comment (here on this blog post) before midnight on Sunday April 5. Say anything, anything at all, like perhaps which post is your favorite. (Not mandatory, but encouraged).

The winner will be chosen at random.

Summary: Speak up, leave me a comment, get picked at random, I'll e-mail ya to let you know you won (I'll probably post about the winner too on the blog Sunday). Reply with your address, and a handmade book will be zipping to you at the speed of the United States Postal Service!

the OTHER green people

There's a parade for almost everything in NYC.

I'd never been to a St Patrick's day parade, so I was pleasantly surprised when I found myself on a train full of revelers. Since I wasn't really going anywhere important anyway, I decided to follow the already-drunk-at-noon-painted-green crowd to the parade route.

The parade itself was actually fairly bland- It was almost nothing but hours of various military and civil servant factions (who most definitely DO deserve a parade, but I don't know what The Marines have to do with Ireland). The most entertaining part of the parade was the bagpipe playing kilt wearing celtic bands. Not actually being Irish myself I have no idea what these big banner flag things were that some groups were carrying. I bet its a noun though. Yep, its got to be a person, place... or thing.

After the parade I thought it would be fitting to take a stroll over to St Patrick's Cathedral, which is plain on the outside, but insanely gorgeous on the inside. I've never put much stock in church decor. (The J man didn't need a fancy pulpit to get his point across. His style was pretty barebones when you think about it- mountain tops, a fisherman's boat, etc... sometimes using a stick to draw in the dirt). So it just seems excessive. Beautiful... but unneccesary.

Who ordered the randomness?

Oh hai!

I been gone lately cause of massive work stuffs, but I thought a post nap Saturday night blog update would be good.

Ya?

OK.

I went to the St Patrick's Day parade in Manhattan.

I had more fun watching the funny drunks than the parade.

Erin go bragh!

I'm painting a window display this week.

LOVING me some income!

Three cheers for being able to pay bills!

Did a little shopping... mostly window shopping

as the amount of clothes that I own that AREN'T paint stained is rapidly dwindling.

The best painter I personally know is Roland Richardson... and though he is an extraordinarily successful man by any and all standards (not to mention internationally famous) he always has the look of a hobo who's been eating messy food with a toddler.

presumably because he gave up the fight that all professional artists wage.

In this corner a carefully pieced together wardrobe, and in the other corner an overwhelming desire to create.

Only one can win...

I try to make both sides reconcile but its a struggle that leaves many a good pair of blue jeans ruined.

Made a fantastic new friend who took me to a fantastic new lounge/ restaurant... It reminds me a lot of Bliss.

AUCers, you know what I'm talking about.

Peter and I like to read books together... looking for the next one- any suggestions? Can't be too girly OR too manly.

Our current read is Ken Follet's World Without End, the semi sequel to Pillars of the Earth (Which is a GREAT read by the way) I recommend pretty much anything by Ken Follet.

I saw a girl wearing flip-flops today... AND A PARKA.

Seems to me that if she thought it would be cold enough to wear a down parka, that she would also wear... you know, shoes.

I've had the same Russian electronica song stuck in my head for two weeks.

Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!

Homeless in New York

I can't tell you how bothered I am by all the homeless people here in New York. Not actually the people, themselves, but by the fact that they have no home.and it is very cold.

We ran out to get some fast food the other day, and a guy came in off the street. He was elderly-late sixties, early seventies

rail thin, clearly mentally deficient

(perhaps a stroke, maybe parkinsons, posibly schizo?)

sweatshirt jacket instead of a coat, old socks as gloves.

He wasn't bothering anyone- he just came in and hunkered down in the corner near the heat vent talking to himself in a repetitive stutter-a combination of religious and political banter.

I wanted to call someone, but didn't know who.

The police would have escorted him out of the restaurant, but probably wouldn't do much more than that.

Who do you call in that situation?

I still had half my weekly lunch budget in my pocket, so I gave it to him. He called me an angel and trudged up to the counter.

I don't know what else I could have done.

Once upon a time...

It's been a very long day, and I believe a bedtime story is in order.

(I know it's not that late, but I'm knackered out.)

Once Upon a Time ...

There was a girl

Who met a boy. They got married and moved to the Caribbean and got a dog. He studied medicine, and she worked at a resort. But she got sick of the monkies messing up her table settings, so she went to work for a camp for undocumented kids. Eventually they had to leave the island. It was very sad. She still misses her friends and the kids there. (Especially that kid, Helene)!

Now they live in New York, where he "works" at a very nice hospital and she is a florist 60 hrs per week, but still makes dinner, does class work and blogs.

The End.

Good night!

Things I love about New York #3

I love where I live.

Finally, we were able to find a decent apartment in a new city on the first try. Our last big move landed us in a shoebox apartment that had a hole in the floor in lieu of a tub and a gargantuan generator sounding like a Harley gang permanently parked outside our bedroom window. This big move, however, landed us in a cushy Queens high rise that's as dog friendly as can be. True, we may not have furniture like normal people. But somehow, the whole utilitarian desks-instead-of-a-couch thing works for us.

There aren't enough coconuts in NYC

Back when I lived in St Marten I loved to play with my video camera.

(I still do, I just don't have any video editing software anymore.)

This only looks dangerous because it's in fast forward.

I'm actually pretty handy with a knife.

White Female Seeking Short Term Relationship Furniture

I've been checking out the prices on "disposable" furniture at Ikea and Wal-Mart, and I'm not thrilled. There's a ninety percent chance that whatever furniture we buy in New York will STAY in New York long after we've moved back south of the Mason Dixon, so I don't want to spend a fortune on a bed/ sofa/ table that we'll only be using for one year, 2 years max. If you, dear reader, or anyone you know (that lives in NYC/ Queens) has any cheap used (infestation free) furniture please let me know.

Moving vs Storing

Since we're moving in less than two weeks I am really getting quite desperate to sell some paintings- mainly so I don't have to make the decision between whether to leave them behind or sacrifice some of our very limited car space to move them with me. So, with this predicament in mind you would think I would have stopped painting, but no. Stressed out as I am about everything that's going on, I find myself nearly sleep painting at 3 am. Fortunately my classes aren't very time consuming, and there's not much I can do for the move just yet so my penchant for putting on head phones and drowning out the world in pretty swirls of color doesn't do much harm... except that now I have several more paintings that I'm torn about what to do with. I've changed the etsy prices from rediculously low to rediculously high and every where in between, but I think the problem is that my page just doesn't get much traffic. I'm just not very good at marketing... which is frustrating because I constantly see really crappy stuff sell on etsy- things the "artist" couldn't have spent more than five minutes on, but the paintings I spend hours and hours and sometimes days and days on won't even move for $40. I am so frustrated! Make me an offer!

But aside from all that I really have been enjoying painting a little extra lately. It is so consuming. I don't know if any other artists out there have ever noticed, but to me at least, painting feels very similar to praying. Both have a tremendously calming effect.

I have to thank Jane DesRosier for one of my favorite new things to do, which is use gel medium. It adds so much texture, which I really enjoy. It really adds another element to art when there isn't just color and composition to consider, but also the texture. Here are a couple of my favorite paintings that make good use of gel medium- they're not very figurative like most of my paintings are- they're really just color studies of hot and cold, with a bunch of gel medium swirled in.

Night Owl (cool) Summer Sky (hot) Seriously, no offer will be rejected if you want one of my paintings. Go to www.loveaboveall.etsy.com or e-mail me @ a_bedealia@yahoo.com