Friday, August 10, 2007

Saying Goodbye to Jenny and Starting a New Job

Most people don't stay on St Maarten forever, so you get kind of used to saying goodbye to people you've come to love, but there is always the comfort of being able to keep in touch; e-mails, phone calls, ridiculous postcards, and blogs remind you that they're still there. It takes the edge off the hurt of not being able to walk down the road and invite them to Ric's Place. If you say goodbye enough times to enough friends you can almost get used to it. Someone else to e-mail. Someone else to skype. You can almost forget that some goodbyes really do last. Despite knowing how sick she was, the thought honestly never occured to me that Jenny might actually die. That someone my age, who went to school with my husband, who was in my wedding, my favorite "j.a.p." , feauxjew as we teased her, wouldn't be there when I came back to Georgia. It never occured to me that the time we went to the mall, drank coffee in Starbucks and played with Meghann's beautiful little boys would be the last day I ever spent with her. Even now, it's hard to understand where in a world where hospitals are full of old people who would love to just sashay right off this planet, someone so young and full of life could die. She fought a good fight, and will probably never know how much her friendship meant to those who knew her. She will always be missed.

In other news, I've finally bit the bullet and quit the bar I was working at. Chloe is still calling me to ask if I can pick up a shift... I'm still not answering her calls.

I know it might sound crazy to trade a job where I can take home $100 in tips at the end of the night, for a job with a salary of $300 a month, but I feel so good about this. We have a good amount saved up again, so I'm honestly not too worried about the financial situation.

I've realized that the most valuable thing we have in life is time. How we spend our time IS our life, and its better to give it away for something worthwhile, than to trade it for money. If you can do something worthwhile and make a little money, well thats even better. Now that I've realized that, I plan on spending the rest of my life working to that end.

The training at The Starlight Ed Center has been really helpful. The MPOs (illegal schools ala Camp Blank) use the Abeka program, which is the same program that most Christian schools in the states use. It is so clearcut- Abeka plans out the entire day for you, that really anybody with a watch and a good attitude could do it.

I've been painting more than ever. I feel so inspired lately! Here is two paintings I finished last week: The top one is of a little mixed media fun with a sea horse and a common sea fan. I LOVED painting the sea horse. It was like I couldn't make a mistake, every stroke was exactly where I wanted it. This second one is of a toucan. I love everything about it, except for the fact that I used cheap tempera paint, and I really wish I hadn't. This is the last time I make that mistake. From now on, I'm buying good paint or no paint!

I guess I"ve just been feeling extra creative lately, because it's been spilling off my canvases and into my notebook. Heres a little poem I composed last week : I fell asleep in the bath/ and dreamt the whole world was an ocean/ and everyone was connected/ moving together in fluid motion./ Everyone who'd ever lived and everyone who / ever would mingled together unaware/ that their past and future / were presently there./ Suddenly I found myself/ tangled up in reef/ and as I lost my last breath/ friends waved goodbye with grief./ I closed my eyes as my heart stopped/ then opened them to find/ that I was quite healthy,/ but completely blind/ to everything that in my dream/ I'd learned I could see;/ Nothing but cold bath water as company./ So I observed my hands/ my wrinkled fingers and toes/ and contemplated life and time/ and how mysteriously she flows.

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