Sunday, February 03, 2008
Trashman's Truck Wake-up Service
I woke up this morning to what sounded like a fog horn. It lasted for about 40 minutes. After a while I was fully awake, even though I hadn't planned on waking up that early, and I started to ponder what it could be: A rudimentary burglar alarm perhaps? It sounded too close to be coming from the bay. It sounded like someone was blaring a foghorn in my front yard. After the thought occurred to me that perhaps that's what a dutch fire alarm sounds like I got out of bed to investigate. Indeed, it WAS coming from my front yard, or rather the road that runs directly in front of my apartment. My millionaire neighbor had parked his Land rover halfway in the street, and the friendly neighborhood garbageman couldn't get his ginormous truck through the already tiny, but now half-filled street, and, using logic befitting his social status, had decided to just lay on the horn. I pulled on a tee and some gym shorts and headed out to see if I could assist the driver in backing out and going the other way, since, to me at least (and a handful of other residents of my building who had begun congregating on their porches to communally grumble about the unexpected wake up call) it was obvious no one was home at the Land rover's house. "Hi!" I said, "Do you need help backing up?". "No. No." replied the half bald Rastafarian, as he scratched one of the remaining dreds that hung off the back of his head. "He need be moving dis ting, I no gonna be backing up de road." "Um, I don't think anyone is home here." I said. "Oh, dey be home, I see dem movin in der." He answered so definitely I headed back to my apartment. I put on my mp3 player to drown out the continuing drone of the garbage man's horn, but even Stellar Kart turned all the way up couldn't get rid of the sound completely, so I ate some toast over the sink, watching out the window to see what would happen. Finally an embarrassed looking housekeeper emerged from the offenders' gates and shyly climbed into the gargantuan SUV. I have never seen anyone start a car so slowly. I thought for sure she must be diffusing a bomb in there until finally I saw it lurch forward a little bit, then slowly crawl forward with the scared looking housekeeper at the wheel. It continued it's steady crawl until finally it was past the house gates and out of the way. All down the street people went back into their houses. I went back to bed. The above painting is a poster I made of my favorite quote. Seriously, it's true for pretty much every decision I've ever made in my life.